Oh, I offend you with...
Oh, I offend you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself!
I’m not shy, I’m just keeping in my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
I don’t exactly hate you, let’s put it like this: if you were on fire and I had a glass of water. I’d drink it.
Either you love me or hate me. Either way, I still hate you!
Do you know what I do to someone who texts this: “We meet at dins 2night?” I throw a dictionary in that person’s face.