Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks
If the ocean was vodka and I was a duck I’d swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean’s not vodka and I am not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up!
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
- Ernest Hemingway
My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.
Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you alcohol.
Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.
I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking
Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker…
I don’t have a drinking problem, it’s you who have a problem with my drinking.
DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK!
I drink because I work, I work so I can drink.
You know your drunk when you call your friend on your phone and tell him you can’t find your phone.
4 beers-20 dollars
2 martini’s 19 dollars
6 jello drops-12 dollars
1 shot of grey goose-6 dollars
taking home 2 hot girls who just drank all of the above:
Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question !
Im not an alcoholic…i just go to the meetings to meet new drinking buddies!!
My grandmom is 80 she still dosent need glasses, She drinks straight out of the bottle.
I’m on whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already!
I could spend 50 bucks on a guitar or I could buy 2 cases of beer and play the air guitar.
I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not
A drunk man never tells a lie.
Act single, see double, drink triple
It takes skill to be a great drunk, how else can you fall out of a tent and roll around and not spill a single drop of your beer?
This may be the beer talking, but I love beer.
I realized I was drinking too much,
So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
- Jack Handey
Drink triple, see double, and act single.
Alcohol: Some Of The Best Times You’ll Never Remember = )
A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”
Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.
I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.
They advise me not to drink every day, so I just do it every night.
Nothing in life is absolute only vodka
My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems! – Homer Simpson
If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.”
- Ernest Hemingway
Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!
Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice