Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 2


I realized I was drinking too much,
So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y

Submitted by: Matrixxx

A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”

Submitted by: xox-ellsworth-xox

Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.

Submitted by: Sandy

I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.

Submitted by: Biker Bob

If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!

Submitted by: supersoldier2010

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems! – Homer Simpson

Submitted by: Kirsti-lou

Nothing in life is absolute only vodka

Submitted by: Syc1

Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice

Submitted by: jaz

Vodka and ice = bad for you liver
Whiskey and ice = bad for your heart
Scotch and ice = bad for your brain
Dammit, the ice ruins everything!

Submitted by: DisGuy

“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.”
Ernest Hemingway


When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt

Submitted by: xoxNINAxox

Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!

Submitted by: Lacy

One tequila
two tequila
three takillya

Submitted by: tipicaly unconcerned

My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”

Submitted by: Prashant

It takes skill to be a great drunk, how else can you fall out of a tent and roll around and not spill a single drop of your beer?

Submitted by: fuzz

Why am I so thirsty? when I drank so much last night?

Submitted by: PArtyboi

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
– Jack Handey

Submitted by: JenJen

Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”

Submitted by: Sarah

A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

Submitted by: Carl

Why do you need a Driver’s License to buy Liquor when you Can’t Drink and Drive?

Submitted by: JIngMac

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Submitted by: Brian

I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.

Submitted by: Mark Abela xD

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman


Who is this moderation I am supposed to be drinking with?

Submitted by: Kristen

The whole world is about three drinks behind.
– Humphrey Bogart

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