Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 2
I realized I was drinking too much,
So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y
Drink triple, see double, and act single.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
- Jack Handey
Alcohol: Some Of The Best Times You’ll Never Remember = )
A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”
Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.
I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.
Nothing in life is absolute only vodka
They advise me not to drink every day, so I just do it every night.
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems! – Homer Simpson
My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice
If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!
“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.”
- Ernest Hemingway
When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!
Vodka and ice = bad for you liver
Whiskey and ice = bad for your heart
Scotch and ice = bad for your brain
Dammit, the ice ruins everything!
Why am I so thirsty? when I drank so much last night?
5 Rules of Alcohol
1. Open bar is a dangerous game. Respect it.
2. Vodka can be mixed up with anything. Even more vodka.
3. Tequila changes people.
4. If you do something really stupid, never say that you are drunk. Unless you’re not.
5. If he/she’s still ugly after the 7th beer, give up.
A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”
Why do you need a Driver’s License to buy Liquor when you Can’t Drink and Drive?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.