Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 2

45

I realized I was drinking too much,
So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y

Submitted by: Matrixxx
8

Drink triple, see double, and act single.

Submitted by: Spider-Net
10

Alcohol: Some Of The Best Times You’ll Never Remember = )

Submitted by: Kirsty = ]
21

A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”

Submitted by: xox-ellsworth-xox
38

Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.

Submitted by: Sandy
3

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
- Jack Handey

Submitted by: JenJen
9

I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.

Submitted by: Biker Bob
6

My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”

Submitted by: Prashant
34

Nothing in life is absolute only vodka

Submitted by: Syc1
24

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems! – Homer Simpson

Submitted by: Kirsti-lou
5

Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice

Submitted by: jaz
3

If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!

Submitted by: supersoldier2010
0

“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.”
- Ernest Hemingway

23

When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt

Submitted by: xoxNINAxox
37

Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!

Submitted by: Lacy
1

Vodka and ice = bad for you liver
Whiskey and ice = bad for your heart
Scotch and ice = bad for your brain
Dammit, the ice ruins everything!

Submitted by: DisGuy
77

One tequila
two tequila
three takillya
floor

Submitted by: tipicaly unconcerned
9

Why am I so thirsty? when I drank so much last night?

Submitted by: PArtyboi
11

A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

Submitted by: Carl
110

Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”

Submitted by: Sarah
13

Why do you need a Driver’s License to buy Liquor when you Can’t Drink and Drive?

Submitted by: JIngMac
5

I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.

Submitted by: Mark Abela xD
7

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.

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3

They advise me not to drink every day, so I just do it every night.

Submitted by: Alan
5

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Submitted by: Brian

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