Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 2
I realized I was drinking too much,
So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y
Vodka and ice = bad for you liver
Whiskey and ice = bad for your heart
Scotch and ice = bad for your brain
Dammit, the ice ruins everything!
A police officer said to a man “son your eyes looked red have you been drinking?”
Response from the man “gee officer your eyes looked glazed have you been eating doughnuts?”
Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.
I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.
If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems! – Homer Simpson
Nothing in life is absolute only vodka
“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.”
– Ernest Hemingway
Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice
When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!
It takes skill to be a great drunk, how else can you fall out of a tent and roll around and not spill a single drop of your beer?
Why am I so thirsty? when I drank so much last night?
My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”
Why do you need a Driver’s License to buy Liquor when you Can’t Drink and Drive?
Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”
A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
– Jack Handey
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
Who is this moderation I am supposed to be drinking with?
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
– Humphrey Bogart