Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 3
The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.
I’m only here for one… Better make it a pitcher.
Ociffer you hass too listening to me, I swear to drunk I am not god!
A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
Why am I so thirsty? when I drank so much last night?
I heard this one the other day…
When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka,mix them together and have a party!!
Help I fell and I can’t reach my vodka
My doctor put an insect in a glass of alcohol, it died – He asked me, what do you learn from this???
I replied, “Alcohol kills germs inside the tummy.”
People say I have a drinking problem…
i have no problem…
i get drunk,
i pass out,
It takes skill to be a great drunk, how else can you fall out of a tent and roll around and not spill a single drop of your beer?
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
- Jack Handey
Good girls are made of sugar and spice…But me and my girls are made outta vodka and ice
You ask if the glass is half empty or half full,
I ask “Are you gonna finish that beer?”
I went to bed drunk and happy, I woke up tired and hurting…Obviously sleep is a bad thing.
The secret of being honest as an Angel is by being drunk as Hell!!!
I swear to drunk I’m not god.
Whiskey and Beer are a man’s worst enemies… But the man that runs away from his enemies is a coward!
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
Rehab is for quiters
Alchohal Brings Out The Inner Retard In All Of Us…