Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 5

3

Love makes the world go round. Alcohol makes it go twice as fast.

Submitted by: timangkey
5

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Samuel Johnson

5

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
– Dean Martin

5

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

5

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend.
– Gerard Way

5

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
– Lee Entrekin

4

Beer makes you feel the way you should feel without beer.

Submitted by: Donnie Morris
16

Cop: sir, yur been drinking too much. Im going to have to take you in for the nite.
friend: no, im not drunk
cop: yeah, you are
friend: okey, im drunk….but im not drunk- drunk- drunk, im just drunk
lmao, this happen to a buddy of mine (funny nite)

Submitted by: rob
44

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant
2

You must be drunk cos I can see 3 of you.

Submitted by: j.gmck
14

Some see the glass as half empty, some see the glass as half full, I just wonder who the hell is drinking my BEER!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by: caitlyn
3

A beer in hand is worth four in the fridge.

Submitted by: Itodo desmond
6

Alcohol doesn’t solve your problems but then again, neither does milk.

Submitted by: kimchi
1

You know you’re wasted when you’re looking in the mirror, and can’t figure out what the heck you’re looking at.

Submitted by: cousin jake
9

Cop says, “Have you been drinking tonight?”
I say, “Why? Is there a fat chick in the back”

Submitted by: Brian D
5

Don’t Drink And Drive . Give Me The Drink And Drive Me Home

Submitted by: joe
12

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

15

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, neither does the milk.

Submitted by: Arun Ashok
3

I take my alcohol medicine everyday.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson
2

I’m not drunk I’m just holding onto your lawn so I don’t fall of the earth.

Submitted by: Awesomeness
2

I have a drinking problem, two hands, one beer, that’s the problem.

Submitted by: vuvuzela
10

I am not drunk, just chemically imbalanced.

Submitted by: wallace
20

My idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand
keep it on guys ………

Submitted by: sam
16

I don’t drink anymore.
I don’t drink any less either.

Submitted by: domino79
6

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
– Herman Smith- Johannsen

6

I only drink on three days; Saturdays; Sundays and Weekdays

Submitted by: Prince
6

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
W.C. Fields
Alcohol Quote: I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I...

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7

If your drinking to forget than please pay us in advance.

Submitted by: matthew
116

I heard this one the other day…
When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka,mix them together and have a party!!

Submitted by: Bob
5

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
– Richard Braunstein

Submitted by: Jerry L. Hilbert

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