Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 5

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Officer- “Have you been drinking?”
You- “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
Officer- “Son, have you been drinking tonight?”
You- “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”
Officer- “Son, can you answer me?”
You- “What’s the officer, problem?”
Officer- “I’m taking you in for the night.”
You- “I’m sotally tober though.”
Officer- “What’s your name, son?”
You- “Jack Daniels.”

Submitted by: Jack Daniels
6

You call me an alcoholic but I call it a damn good time.

Submitted by: jessie
33

You ask if the glass is half empty or half full,
I ask “Are you gonna finish that beer?”

Submitted by: Sammers
8

Rehab is for Quitters!

Submitted by: JenJen
5

You know you are drunk when you think the bartender is making your drinks weaker.

Submitted by: Jason
4

Alcohol is the answer.
What was the question?

Submitted by: Mirjam
13

I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am.

Alcohol Quote: I can’t afford vacation, so I am...

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51

Help I fell and I can’t reach my vodka
lol

Submitted by: .:kaeley:.
8

Drinking and Driving is so dangerous. Yesterday I hand signaled to turn and some guy stole my beer.

Submitted by: Wilke van Greunen
7

When the whiskey goes in the truth comes out.

Submitted by: CSOTO
10

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.

Submitted by: oooolalo
10

I drink to forget I drink.
– Joe E. Lewis

10

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

5

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
– Finley Peter Dunne

7

A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.
– Charles Chaplin

79

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant
5

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
– Dean Martin

5

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

5

There is no such thing as strong drink – only weak men.

Submitted by: Oneel
5

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend.
– Gerard Way

5

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
– Lee Entrekin

5

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Samuel Johnson

4

Who needs beer goggles, I got vodka binoculars!!!

Submitted by: tbr
16

Cop: sir, yur been drinking too much. Im going to have to take you in for the nite.
friend: no, im not drunk
cop: yeah, you are
friend: okey, im drunk….but im not drunk- drunk- drunk, im just drunk
lmao, this happen to a buddy of mine (funny nite)

Submitted by: rob
9

Cop says, “Have you been drinking tonight?”
I say, “Why? Is there a fat chick in the back”

Submitted by: Brian D

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