Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 5
Officer- “Have you been drinking?”
You- “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
Officer- “Son, have you been drinking tonight?”
You- “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”
Officer- “Son, can you answer me?”
You- “What’s the officer, problem?”
Officer- “I’m taking you in for the night.”
You- “I’m sotally tober though.”
Officer- “What’s your name, son?”
You- “Jack Daniels.”
You call me an alcoholic but I call it a damn good time.
You ask if the glass is half empty or half full,
I ask “Are you gonna finish that beer?”
Rehab is for Quitters!
You know you are drunk when you think the bartender is making your drinks weaker.
Alcohol is the answer.
What was the question?
I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am.
Help I fell and I can’t reach my vodka
Drinking and Driving is so dangerous. Yesterday I hand signaled to turn and some guy stole my beer.
When the whiskey goes in the truth comes out.
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
I drink to forget I drink.
– Joe E. Lewis
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
– Finley Peter Dunne
A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.
– Charles Chaplin
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
– Dean Martin
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
There is no such thing as strong drink – only weak men.
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend.
– Gerard Way
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
– Lee Entrekin
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
– Samuel Johnson
Who needs beer goggles, I got vodka binoculars!!!
Cop: sir, yur been drinking too much. Im going to have to take you in for the nite.
friend: no, im not drunk
cop: yeah, you are
friend: okey, im drunk….but im not drunk- drunk- drunk, im just drunk
lmao, this happen to a buddy of mine (funny nite)
Cop says, “Have you been drinking tonight?”
I say, “Why? Is there a fat chick in the back”