Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks

I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.

Submitted by: Mark Abela xD

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
– W. C. Fields

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

It takes skill to be a great drunk, how else can you fall out of a tent and roll around and not spill a single drop of your beer?

Submitted by: fuzz

One tequila, two tequila, three thequila FLOOR! Get back up and drink some more!!!

Submitted by: Treska Guitard

Do you realize you were swerving back there?
Sorry officer, my beer was sliding all over the dashboard and I didn’t want it to spill.

Submitted by: Trystan

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
– Jack Handey

Submitted by: JenJen

The whole world is about three drinks behind.
– Humphrey Bogart

Yea I Have a drinking problem. 2 hands 1 mouth no beer!!!!!!

Submitted by: Kitty

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
Samuel Johnson

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
– William Temple

I stopped drinking for a while, Then I woke up

Submitted by: Mase

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
– Robert E. Lee

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
– Catherine Zandonella

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
– Nancy Astor

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
– Dylan Thomas

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