Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 7
You know you are drunk when you think the bartender is making your drinks weaker.
I drink it when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone; when I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it – unless I’m thirsty.
Quote from Madame Lily Bollinger – vintage 1955
A beer a day keeps the salary away.
A beer in hand is worth four in the fridge.
Me: Yes officer is anything wrong?
Officer: No I was just wondering if you have any beer left??
Me: Yes we do.. But you have to fix my DUI
Officer: Give me the beer
This really happen but he never fixed my DUI
No matter how far you go down the right road, you can always turn around and go to the dance bar and get some beer.
I need a beer… Actually.. Make it a case.
Love makes the world go round. Alcohol makes it go twice as fast.
Husband- I once went 4 years without drinking.
Wife- Well what happened?
Husband- I Turned 5.
I have come to the conclusion that the solution to all of life’s problems can’t be found at the bottom of a beer glass. However, I’m going to keep checking just in case I’m wrong.
Beer makes you feel the way you should feel without beer.
I don’t get drunk, I get AWESOME!!
If drinking and driving is against the law, why do they have parking at clubs and pubs?
When you’re drunk, you notice the Earth really spins.
Officer- “Have you been drinking?”
You- “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
Officer- “Son, have you been drinking tonight?”
You- “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”
Officer- “Son, can you answer me?”
You- “What’s the officer, problem?”
Officer- “I’m taking you in for the night.”
You- “I’m sotally tober though.”
Officer- “What’s your name, son?”
You- “Jack Daniels.”
I am awake, I might as well be drinking.
They advise me not to drink every day, so I just do it every night.
I never drink unless I’m alone or with somebody.
What’s the ociffer problem
I drink to forget that I smoke.