American author and humor columnist.
Reading… a vacation for the mind…. – Dave Barry
Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? – Dave Barry
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you’ve been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent. – Dave Barry
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. – Dave Barry
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. – Dave Barry
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