Quotes by Erma Bombeck

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: A friend never defends a husband who...

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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: There’s nothing sadder in this world than...

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When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: When your mother asks, ‘Do you want...

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: Never go to a doctor whose office...

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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: Some say our national pastime is baseball....

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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: One never realizes how different a husband...

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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: Seize the moment. Remember all those women...

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Laugh now, cry later.
– Erma Bombeck
Quote: Laugh now, cry later. – Erma Bombeck

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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: It goes without saying that you should...

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
– Erma Bombeck

Quote: If a man watches three football games...

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