Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.
– Fran Lebowitz

Think before you speak. Read before you think.
– Fran Lebowitz

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
– Fran Lebowitz

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
– Fran Lebowitz

You’re only as good as your last haircut.
– Fran Lebowitz

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
– Fran Lebowitz

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
– Fran Lebowitz

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
– Fran Lebowitz

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
— Fran Lebowitz

The best fame is a writer’s fame. It’s enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.
— Fran Lebowitz

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
– Fran Lebowitz

Do not elicit your child’s political opinions. He doesn’t know any more than you do.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
– Fran Lebowitz

I believe in talking behind people’s backs.
That way,they hear it more than once”
— Fran Lebowitz

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.”
— Fran Lebowitz

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