Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Life is something that happens when you...

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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Think before you speak. Read before you...

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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Humility is no substitute for a good...

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: If you are a dog and your...

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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: You’re only as good as your last...

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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: In real life, I assure you, there...

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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Remember that as a teenager you are...

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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
— Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s...

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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Your life story would not make a...

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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
– Fran Lebowitz

Quote: Food is an important part of a...

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