American author, public speaker, and occasional actor
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. – Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. – Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think. – Fran Lebowitz
Humility is no substitute for a good personality. – Fran Lebowitz
The best fame is a writer’s fame. It’s enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat. – Fran Lebowitz
Sleep is death without the responsibility. – Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. – Fran Lebowitz
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. – Fran Lebowitz
You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. – Fran Lebowitz
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. – Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. – Fran Lebowitz
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.” – Fran Lebowitz
I believe in talking behind people’s backs. That way,they hear it more than once” – Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try. – Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. – Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. – Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. – Fran Lebowitz
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. – Fran Lebowitz
Do not elicit your child’s political opinions. He doesn’t know any more than you do.
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. – Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. – Fran Lebowitz
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