Quotes by Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.
– Garrison Keillor

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
– Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
– Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
– Garrison Keillor

It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars.
– Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
– Garrison Keillor

Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
– Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
– Garrison Keillor

Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.
– Garrison Keillor

If the government can round up someone and never be required to explain why, then it’s no longer the United States of America as you and I always understood it. Our enemies have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. They have made us become like them.
– Garrison Keillor

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it?
– Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
– Garrison Keillor

If you lived today as if it were your last, you’d buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn’t you?
– Garrison Keillor

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
– Garrison Keillor

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don’t read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
– Garrison Keillor

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