Quotes by Groucho Marx

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: I intend to live forever, or die...

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She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: She got her good looks from her...

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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
– Groucho Marx

Quote: Do you mind if I don’t smoke?...

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: I find television very educating. Every time...

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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: The husband who wants a happy marriage...

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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: Anyone who says he can see through...

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: I was married by a judge. I...

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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: Next time I see you, remind me...

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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: The secret of life is honesty and...

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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
– Groucho Marx

Quote: Age is not a particularly interesting subject....

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