Quotes by Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
- Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
- Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
- Groucho Marx
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
- Groucho Marx
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
- Groucho Marx
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
- Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
- Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.
- Groucho Marx
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
- Groucho Marx