Quotes by Jarod Kintz
There should always be one more cat than person, so everyone has one to pet, and I have two to myself.
- Jarod Kintz
Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition.
- Jarod Kintz
Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice—once for each of my faces.
- Jarod Kintz
Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.
― Jarod Kintz
The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
― Jarod Kintz
The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.
― Jarod Kintz
I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.
”
― Jarod Kintz
Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.
- Jarod Kintz
Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for.
― Jarod Kintz
At the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a supplies closet.
― Jarod Kintz
Me and my wife are happy. At least when we are not together.
- Jarod Kintz
Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
― Jarod Kintz
Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
― Jarod Kintz
Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans.
- Jarod Kintz
Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse than warts are lawyers and lobbyists.
― Jarod Kintz
A woman in a box—a great gift for the husband who has everything.
- Jarod Kintz