Quotes by Kapil Sharma

Man : Which is the oldest animal on earth?
Kapil : Zebra. Because it is still white and black.

Wife : What is the difference between complete and Finish?
Kapil : If you marry the right girl your life gets COMPLETE. and if you marry the wrong girl your life gets FINISHED

My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn’t aware is a punch line.
– Kapil Sharma

Kapil : What are you doing nowadays?
Man : PHD
Kapil : Wao, Doctor
Man : No its Pizza Home Delievery

Kapil : How is your wife?
Shahrukh : An angel from heaven. And yours?
Kapil : Still Alive.

Every artist says that he/she wants to do something challenging, and I’m not any different. If someone approaches me with a serious role, I’ll be more than happy.
– Kapil Sharma

People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films.
– Kapil Sharma

I am always scared before going on stage; this is the fear which makes me do well.
– Kapil Sharma

Man : A snake is biting your wife. Do something.
Kapil : It ain’t biting. Its that the snakes venom has come to an end and not it is getting it recharged from my wife.

Kapil : If anything happens to me during operation, You get married to the doctor.
Wife: Why?
Kapil : It’s the only way to take a good revenge.

Salman Khan (Famous Bollywood actor unmarried even after 50) : Kapil when will I get married?
Kapil : Never, It is just happiness written in your fate.

I grew up thinking that I would become a fighter pilot and was fascinated by aircrafts as I had grown up around that. But my father encouraged me to not become an Air Force person, given the varied interests I had, be it books, movies, sports or fighter flying.
– Kapil Sharma

People tell me that my appearance in real life is better than on-screen. Perhaps people think I am exactly like the characters I play on TV.
– Kapil Sharma

The problem with feature filmmaking is that it offers you this mirage of being able to achieve perfection, as the theory of it is that you have control of every part of the film, though in reality, it is as inexact as the next thing in your life.
– Kapil Sharma

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