Quotes by Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
– Mark Twain

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
– Mark Twain

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
– Mark Twain

When in doubt, tell the truth.
– Mark Twain

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
– Mark Twain

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
– Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
– Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
– Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
– Mark Twain

Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
– Mark Twain

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
– Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
– Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
– Mark Twain

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
– Mark Twain

No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
– Mark Twain

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