Quotes by Mark Twain

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
– Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
– Mark Twain

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot of acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
– Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
– Mark Twain

When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.
– Laurie Halse Anderson

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
– Mark Twain

There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
– Mark Twain

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
– Mark Twain

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it. If you live.
– Mark Twain

Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.
– Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example
– Mark Twain

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
– Mark Twain

Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible.
– Mark Twain

Canadian girls are so pretty it is a relief to see a plain one now and then
– Mark Twain

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A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
– Mark Twain

It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
– Mark Twain

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.
– Mark Twain

When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
– Mark Twain

It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
– Mark Twain

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.
– Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
– Mark Twain

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
– Mark Twain

Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.
– Mark Twain

There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
– Mark Twain

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