Quotes by Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
- Phyllis Diller
Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
- Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
- Phyllis Diller
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three- dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
- Phyllis Diller