A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – Steve Martin
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither. – Steve Martin
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. – Steve Martin
introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness. – Steve Martin
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them. – Steve Martin
Be so good they can’t ignore you. – Steve Martin
We’ve had some fun tonight…considering we’re all gonna die someday. – Steve Martin
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. – Steve Martin
It’s pain that changes our lives. – Steve Martin
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything. – Steve Martin
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. – Steve Martin
The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead. – Steve Martin
A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. – Steve Martin
There are few takers for the quiet heart. – Steve Martin
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you’re an idiot. – Steve Martin
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening. – Steve Martin
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. – Steve Martin
My problem is that I don’t get the same exhilaration from success as I get depression from failure. – Steve Martin
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. – Steve Martin
I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point? – Steve Martin
Imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience. – Steve Martin
Thinking too much also creates the illusion of causal connections between unrelated events. – Steve Martin
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