Quotes by Steven Wright

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere.
– Steven Wright

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
– Steven Wright

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, ‘Well, what do you need?’
– Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, ‘I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.

– Steven Wright

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