Quotes by W.C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
– W.C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
– W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
– W. C. Fields

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
– W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
– W.C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
– W.C. Fields

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
– W.C. Fields

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
– W.C. Fields

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
– W.C. Fields
Quote: I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I...

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
– W.C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I never had the decency to thank her.
– W.C. Fields

I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son- of- a b*tch, I forget it.
– W.C. Fields

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
– W.C. Fields

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
– W.C. Fields

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
– W.C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
– W.C. Fields


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