Quotes by Woody Allen

To you, I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition.
– Woody Allen

Quote: To you, I’m an atheist. To God,...

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
– Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
– Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good.
– Woody Allen

Quote: Sex without love is a meaningless experience,...

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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
– Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
– Woody Allen

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
– Woody Allen

Quote: If God exists, I hope he has...

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I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
– Woody Allen

Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
– Woody Allen

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
– Woody Allen

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