American director, writer, actor, and comedian
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse. – Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. – Woody Allen
People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. – Anton Chekhov
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. – Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. – Woody Allen
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. – Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. – Woody Allen
The chief problem about death … is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought. – Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is naps. – Woody Allen
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