Clever Quotes and Sayings
The glass is neither half full nor half empty. It’s simply twice as big as it needs to be.
If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes..but a person who don’t is a fool forever.
Advice…a clever man doesnt need it…a fool won’t take it…
When in doubt, Google it.
If you want people to remember you. Borrow money from them.
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired.. I put the mirror down. ;)
You don’t see it until its not there.
They say it’s always in the last place that you look
Why the heck would I keep looking after I already found it!
I didn’t fail math. I just found a lot of ways not to do it
Problem free life never makes a strong person
The man is the head of the house !!!!
but the woman is the neck
and she can turn the head anyway she wants hehe
Whether you’re first or last in the queue depends which way your looking
All people have a photographic memory, some just don’t have the film. I do, but it never develops quite right…
You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
If you aim at nothing, your accuracy will be immense.
I started out with nothing… and I still have most of that!
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
You can’t be late until you show up.
Money does not buy happiness but, it sure pays off stress.
A candle is never diminished by lighting another candle
I changed the name on my iPod to “the titanic” so that when I plug it in to my computer, you’ll read “the titanic is syncing”.
If at first you don’t succeed, try again until you bleed
You can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent.
Why is it that when you pay someone a compliment they proceed to list their faults.