Clever Quotes and Sayings - Page 4
If you want breakfast in bed. Sleep in the kitchen.
I changed the name on my iPod to “the titanic” so that when I plug it in to my computer, you’ll read “the titanic is syncing”.
I started out with nothing… and I still have most of that!
Pain only means you’re still alive
Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.
I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.
Love all, trust a few.
Next time I’m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I’m going to turn around and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
All people have a photographic memory, some just don’t have the film. I do, but it never develops quite right…
They say it’s always in the last place that you look
Why the heck would I keep looking after I already found it!
Whether you’re first or last in the queue depends which way your looking
I’ll jump in front of a train for you, as long as the train is not moving.
I like to spoon after I fork.
– Jarod Kintz
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Why is it that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?
If practice makes perfect,and no one is perfect,then why practice?
The only difference between genius and stupidity, is that genius has its limits.
– Albert Einstein
If you believe that guns are the cause of murders and other crimes then pencils must be responsible for misspelled words.
Sure hard work pay’s off in the future! But Laziness Pay’s off Right Now !
You do not have to prove something for it to be true. However, you do have to prove something for others to believe it true.
If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!
Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
One day, I was approached by a man holding a glass of water.
He asked, “Is this glass half full? Or half empty?”
I took the glass from his hand and drank the water.
No more problem.
The glass is neither half full nor half empty. It’s simply twice as big as it needs to be.
Technology is not complete if I can’t download money.