Clever Quotes and Sayings

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…Yeah but it could roll.

Submitted by: Taylor

People talk so much. Yet say so little.

Submitted by: Marvin

If the grass looks greener on the other side its time to fertilize yours.

Submitted by: Dee

I could act normal, but it would be acting and it wouldn’t be normal.

Submitted by: James

How can you tell me to never say never when you just said never?

Submitted by: Lovers

A balanced diet means a cookie in both hands.

Submitted by: Jake

One day, I was approached by a man holding a glass of water.
He asked, “Is this glass half full? Or half empty?”
I took the glass from his hand and drank the water.
No more problem.

Submitted by: Sal

Opportunity knocks but once, so be sure and leave a forwarding address.

Submitted by: Quentin D.

I’m not clever, I just don’t know how to be stupid.

Submitted by: HS

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.
– Max Amsterdam

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If all boys are the same, why are girls so picky?

Submitted by: spongebob

You know that you’ve become wise when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you’re stupid.

Submitted by: Andy Harding

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Submitted by: some1

When push comes to shove, I hope you’re standing next to a cliff.

Submitted by: stubsandstubby

The grass is always greener on the other side when you’re not the one mowing it.

Submitted by: some guy

Light a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the night, light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life

Submitted by: jon

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Why is it that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?

Submitted by: Elyod Llerret

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

Next time I’m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I’m going to turn around and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here.

Did you sleep well?
No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright

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A person is talented only when he has the talent to express his talent.

Submitted by: Rahul

You do not have to prove something for it to be true. However, you do have to prove something for others to believe it to be true.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
&
A garlic a day keeps everyone away!

Submitted by: Rose

He who falls into the water doesn’t drown, but the one who stays in it does.

Submitted by: Hassan Mehanna

You can’t be late until you show up.

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