Quotes for your Facebook Status | Status Update Gems

Facebook should have a “no one cares” button.

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If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”.

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I’d really post your name here every minute if facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind.

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Delete me , Poke me, Like me, Limit me ..The choice is yours.. Welcome to facebook, where no one is really your friend. =P

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My ex girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her.

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I’m wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do!

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I’d rather check my Facebook than face my check book.

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Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.

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That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.

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Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done!

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The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you?

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Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors and depression meet up for coffee.

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…did a lot of nothing yesterday, but I didn’t finish, so I’m going to do it again today!

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Girl: Why do you constantly keep posting my name as your Facebook status every 2 minutes?
Boy: Facebook keeps asking me what’s on my mind? And honestly, it’s always you.

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Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

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I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.

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I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.

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Facebook is the only place you can write whatever you feel on a wall.
Grrrr Facebook won’t stop asking what’s on my mind even if I tell it, it keeps on asking.

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Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.

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