Facebook Status Quotes
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.
Being nice to people you don’t like is not being two faced, it is called growing up.
The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.
Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done!
…did a lot of nothing yesterday, but I didn’t finish, so I’m going to do it again today!
Trust me I am a liar.
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.
Girl: Why do you constantly keep posting my name as your Facebook status every 2 minutes?
Boy: Facebook keeps asking me what’s on my mind? And honestly, it’s always you.