Facebook Status Quotes

In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ’em not to f*** with you.

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.

If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.

Submitted by: Dennis

I am currently restructuring my multinational Facebook friends list. I have decided to be within a manageable level of friends for control purposes. I am stream- lining my own time online so I can do other things with more meaning. This means, I will only retain responsive, active friends. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. So until I get round to unfriending you “You know who you are”, either from self delete or from myself having to use the the bye bye button on you, this is only so my time is my own again.
P.S. If you are reading this then hello Facebook friend.

Submitted by: john

Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.

Submitted by: Papa Wayne..xD

If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
She’s naked.

Submitted by: Johnny

So I tried this interesting new recipe; beer can chicken. You actually cook the whole chicken with a can of beer inside. The recipe only calls for one beer. I bought a six pack and drank the first five before beginning to prepare the meal. Strange but I must have missed the line in the recipe that said to “Open” the can before inserting into the chicken. When a can of beer is heated to 375 degrees, it reacts by “Self opening” what a mess to clean up.

Submitted by: Don Keen

If you don’t like me well honey you don’t have to.

Submitted by: nikki

What starts with f and ends in uck?!. Firetruck.

Submitted by: luz (=

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think i’m trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.

Submitted by: bailey
Advertisements

Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.

Submitted by: natti

I accepted your friend request not a marriage proposal.
Boys, just think of me as the barbie doll you’ll never get to play with.;)
I’m not single, I’m just in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.:D

Submitted by: kelly

Wouldn’t be much better if Facebook had “please reply to your inbox messages, or your Facebook account will be terminated”.

Submitted by: Arnold1968

There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.

Submitted by: Jayadeep.V. Nair

Stop saying lies about me behind my back and I’ll stop saying the truth about you. <3

Submitted by: lauren

If I had 10 ice- cubes and 11 bananas, how many waffles could get stuck on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: Jonny Appleseed

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

Submitted by: Hussein

School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.

Submitted by: kylei

When you can’t sleep- have no fear! Facebook is here! …Yay?

Submitted by: Katie :)

Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.

Submitted by: Jennifer

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote