Facebook Status Quotes
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ’em not to f*** with you.
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.
If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.
I am currently restructuring my multinational Facebook friends list. I have decided to be within a manageable level of friends for control purposes. I am stream- lining my own time online so I can do other things with more meaning. This means, I will only retain responsive, active friends. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. So until I get round to unfriending you “You know who you are”, either from self delete or from myself having to use the the bye bye button on you, this is only so my time is my own again.
P.S. If you are reading this then hello Facebook friend.
Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.
If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
So I tried this interesting new recipe; beer can chicken. You actually cook the whole chicken with a can of beer inside. The recipe only calls for one beer. I bought a six pack and drank the first five before beginning to prepare the meal. Strange but I must have missed the line in the recipe that said to “Open” the can before inserting into the chicken. When a can of beer is heated to 375 degrees, it reacts by “Self opening” what a mess to clean up.
If you don’t like me well honey you don’t have to.
What starts with f and ends in uck?!. Firetruck.
Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think i’m trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.
Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.
I accepted your friend request not a marriage proposal.
Boys, just think of me as the barbie doll you’ll never get to play with.;)
I’m not single, I’m just in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.:D
Wouldn’t be much better if Facebook had “please reply to your inbox messages, or your Facebook account will be terminated”.
There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.
Stop saying lies about me behind my back and I’ll stop saying the truth about you. <3
If I had 10 ice- cubes and 11 bananas, how many waffles could get stuck on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.
When you can’t sleep- have no fear! Facebook is here! …Yay?
Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.