Facebook Status Quotes - Page 3
Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’
Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.
Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.
Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.
You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.
Not a Facebook fantasy
Quit acting like someone else.
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.
Single is not a status. It’s a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.
Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.
For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking.
School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.
Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.
James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.