Facebook Status Quotes - Page 3
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’
I log out from FB. Reason: I am bored.
After 5 min I signed in. Reason: I am bored.
Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.
I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.
Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.
Single is not a status. It’s a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.
Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.
For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking.
Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.
Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.