Facebook Status Quotes - Page 3

4

Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.

Submitted by: Saskia
3

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

4

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

3

47% of all statistics are worthless.

3

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

3

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

3

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

3

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.

38

Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’

Submitted by: Cynthia Nadine
3

Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.

3

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

3

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

68

I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.

Submitted by: allisongrace14
23

Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.

Submitted by: la nenita
10

You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.

Submitted by: Dakotah.
6

Living reality
Not a Facebook fantasy
Like others
Be yourself
Quit acting like someone else.

Submitted by: Jose Gaucin
82

Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

Submitted by: amal
9

Single is not a status. It’s a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

Submitted by: Karli
2

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

2

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

4

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

24

For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking.

Submitted by: angel
3

School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.

Submitted by: kylei
12

Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.

Submitted by: Aman
4

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.


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