Facebook Status Quotes

Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.

Submitted by: Aman

You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.

Submitted by: Dakotah.

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.

Stop writing love quotes on your facebook.. It will hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: Idrees

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa

If you see me smiling in public, it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head

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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

Submitted by: Rajesh Joe

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose

Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.

Submitted by: manek

Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?

Submitted by: Lisa

Say it to my face, not through your status!

Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.

Submitted by: Jade

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:

Submitted by: Cookie Monster

Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.

Submitted by: Saskia

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton

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