Facebook Status Quotes

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC

(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)

Submitted by: koolkid
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On Facebook there should be a relationship status that says I don’t even know what’s going on?

Submitted by: Jess

I know that I am beautiful, looking is enough but staring is too much.

Submitted by: FRANCIA JORDAN

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!

Submitted by: pimpin beast!

I’m going on a date with my pillow!! Goodnight!!:)

Submitted by: Rache

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

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