Facebook Status Quotes

Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.

Submitted by: Aman

You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.

Submitted by: Dakotah.

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

Submitted by: Rajesh Joe

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe

Stop writing love quotes on your facebook.. It will hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: Idrees
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Say it to my face, not through your status!

If you see me smiling in public, it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa

Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.

Submitted by: manek

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose
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Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?

Submitted by: Lisa

Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.

Submitted by: Jade

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

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