Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5
Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?
Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.
Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”
Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.
Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.
Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.
Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
Sonia has found love in Facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.
Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.