Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5

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STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher

I log out from FB. Reason: I am bored.
After 5 min I signed in. Reason: I am bored.

Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors and depression meet up for coffee.

Facebook Status Quote: Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards,...

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I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!

Submitted by: pimpin beast!

(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)

Submitted by: koolkid

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Facebook Status Quote: If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten,...

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Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.


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