Facebook Status Quotes - Page 6
STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx
Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…
If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.
David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.
Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!
Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!
After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???
Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!
Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…
I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.
Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.
I’m wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do!
Jake is hoping that if he stays in Facebook land long enough, the cleaning fairies will come….?
Don’t do drugs…give them to me.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
Sonia has found love in Facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.
Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.