Facebook Status Quotes
Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.
STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”
Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.
My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.
Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)
Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!