Facebook Status Quotes

I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:

Submitted by: Cookie Monster

Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.

Submitted by: Saskia

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton
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If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher
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STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC

(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)

Submitted by: koolkid

On Facebook there should be a relationship status that says I don’t even know what’s going on?

Submitted by: Jess

I know that I am beautiful, looking is enough but staring is too much.

Submitted by: FRANCIA JORDAN

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