Facebook Status Quotes
Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you?
Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.
Important announcement: Please refrain from suggesting friends for me on FB. I’m not a clown. If I wanted someone on my friends list I’d have added ‘em myself. Thank You.
I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.
As Facebook has a “Poke” button, it should have a “Kick” button as well.
For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking.
No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on!
Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.
The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.
Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!
Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’
I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!
Facebook should add a “dislike button” some updates are just too senseless.