Facebook Status Quotes

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa

If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.

Submitted by: baylorswimgal

David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.

Submitted by: David

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.

Submitted by: Mark Redd

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe

Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc

Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…

Submitted by: liz

I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Submitted by: Drew

Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: supermarket

Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

Submitted by: amal

I’m wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do!

Submitted by: amal

Jake is hoping that if he stays in Facebook land long enough, the cleaning fairies will come….?

Submitted by: amal

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil

Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.


Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

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