Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”
Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
Why can’t there be a get away from me button or stop poking me stalker button on Facebook…
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.
Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
I watch pom. I bet you read that wrong, didn’t you?
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.
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