Facebook Status Quotes

Dear Facebook: They are not “Suggested friends.” They’re people I’m intentionally trying to avoid.

Submitted by: Aman

My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.

Submitted by: tariku

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you?

Submitted by: randhir mann

Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.

Submitted by: la nenita

Important announcement: Please refrain from suggesting friends for me on FB. I’m not a clown. If I wanted someone on my friends list I’d have added ‘em myself. Thank You.

Submitted by: Bumble Bee

I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.

Submitted by: bobby

As Facebook has a “Poke” button, it should have a “Kick” button as well.

Submitted by: Wafa

For those of you complaining you can’t sleep, LOG OFF FACEBOOK! It’s a proven fact that it’s impossible to sleep while facebooking.

Submitted by: angel

No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on!

Submitted by: nicolle

Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and get poked bu people you don’t know.

Submitted by: nomalanga sihle qongo

The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.

Submitted by: awesomeee

Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!

Submitted by: pimpin beast!

Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’

Submitted by: Cynthia Nadine

I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!

Submitted by: pringleprincess101

Facebook should add a “dislike button” some updates are just too senseless.

Submitted by: maria

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