Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?
Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.
Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”
Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.