Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7
Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.
Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
Sonia has found love in Facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.
Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?
Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.