Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7

2

Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

2

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

4

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

3

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

1

Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

3

Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

2

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

2

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

1

Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.

1

Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.

1

Sonia has found love in Facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.

2

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

4

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

1

That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.

3

47% of all statistics are worthless.

3

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

1

Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?

1

Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!

2

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!

2

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

3

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

4

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.

2

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.

3

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

3

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.


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