Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7

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88

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC
37

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes
145

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa
170

If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.

Submitted by: baylorswimgal
136

David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.

Submitted by: David
925

If you read this…then you are a retard.

Submitted by: christian
60

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.

Submitted by: Mark Redd
125

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe
362

Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl
115

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose
56

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc
123

Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…

Submitted by: liz
84

I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Submitted by: Drew
245

Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: supermarket
81

Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

Submitted by: amal
108

I’m wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do!

Submitted by: amal
231

Jake is hoping that if he stays in Facebook land long enough, the cleaning fairies will come….?

Submitted by: amal
297

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

Facebook-Status-(1)

Submitted by: amal
438

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h
45

Your intelligence is my common sense.

Submitted by: Swapnil

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