Facebook Status Quotes

…of course take your time…not mine.
I am on a seefood diet …I see it ..I eat it. * BURP*
…read this 3 times with your hands on the screen …and you will be healed. ( Now send me money)

Submitted by: 666

I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.

Submitted by: allisongrace14

Am quitting face book to face my books.

Submitted by: Hussein Ahmed

If taking a shower is bad for the environment, I know I’m doing the world a big favor!;)

Submitted by: lol!!!ha

Smile for me … Go ahead … Keep on smiling … Hmmm hmm you’re not too far from the stupidity line !!!!

Submitted by: Kittyboul

I’d rather check my Facebook than face my check book.

Submitted by: Lewis

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

Submitted by: Wes

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa

If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.

Submitted by: baylorswimgal
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David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.

Submitted by: David

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.

Submitted by: Mark Redd

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe

Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc

Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…

Submitted by: liz

I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Submitted by: Drew

Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: supermarket

Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

Submitted by: amal

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