Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7
STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”
Noticed a friend’s Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!
Yeah I got nothing at this point. Updates to follow.
I’m using my credits to access Facebook…if you hate my status then you can unfriend me…from now on mind yo business! Hate me or like me I’m still gonna login.
I am currently restructuring my multi national facebook Companies. I have decided to be within a manageable level of organization for control purposes. I am stream- lining manpower. Meaning, I will only retain responsive, active members. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. Until then, resign or be fired.
I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.
Don’t do drugs…give them to me.
I’ll change my gender to ‘female’ and my name to ‘Linda’. So when I post an update, people will rush to like them.
Dear Facebook, you should have a “I disagree” button & a dislike button.
…of course take your time…not mine.
I am on a seefood diet …I see it ..I eat it. * BURP*
…read this 3 times with your hands on the screen …and you will be healed. ( Now send me money)
Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.
If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.
Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.
Facebook annoys me. The statuses. The pictures. Everyone’s trying to get so many likes..and I’m starting to hate myself too. Why do I have to have people like my stuff or me to feel they like me.. Like, am I the only one?
Smile for me … Go ahead … Keep on smiling … Hmmm hmm you’re not too far from the stupidity line !!!!
If I had 10 ice- cubes and 11 bananas, how many waffles could get stuck on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.
I said to my husband, “I don’t hear many men boo- hoo’ing about gaining weight” & he said, “We just go buy bigger pants.”
So I tried this interesting new recipe; beer can chicken. You actually cook the whole chicken with a can of beer inside. The recipe only calls for one beer. I bought a six pack and drank the first five before beginning to prepare the meal. Strange but I must have missed the line in the recipe that said to “Open” the can before inserting into the chicken. When a can of beer is heated to 375 degrees, it reacts by “Self opening” what a mess to clean up.
Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!
I am really easy to get on with, once you learn to worship me…
I’m quitting facebook to face my books…
People who respond to their own FB status…frankly annoy me.
Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.
Not to worry, I have been subdued and carted off for observation!
I only added you to fill up your news feed, in that way I may get a “Like” from you.