Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7

7

Noticed a friend’s Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!

Submitted by: beautiful liar
30

Yeah I got nothing at this point. Updates to follow.

Submitted by: Matt
21

I’m using my credits to access Facebook…if you hate my status then you can unfriend me…from now on mind yo business! Hate me or like me I’m still gonna login.

Submitted by: Raphael
53

I am currently restructuring my multi national facebook Companies. I have decided to be within a manageable level of organization for control purposes. I am stream- lining manpower. Meaning, I will only retain responsive, active members. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. Until then, resign or be fired.

Submitted by: Abiya Ganpalo
8

I am currently restructuring my multinational Facebook friends list. I have decided to be within a manageable level of friends for control purposes. I am stream- lining my own time online so I can do other things with more meaning. This means, I will only retain responsive, active friends. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. So until I get round to unfriending you “You know who you are”, either from self delete or from myself having to use the the bye bye button on you, this is only so my time is my own again.
P.S. If you are reading this then hello Facebook friend.

Submitted by: john
75

I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.

Submitted by: bobby
439

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h
7

I’ll change my gender to ‘female’ and my name to ‘Linda’. So when I post an update, people will rush to like them.

Submitted by: isuwa
9

Dear Facebook, you should have a “I disagree” button & a dislike button.

Submitted by: shaq p.
115

…of course take your time…not mine.
I am on a seefood diet …I see it ..I eat it. * BURP*
…read this 3 times with your hands on the screen …and you will be healed. ( Now send me money)

Submitted by: 666
246

Stop writing Love quotes on your Facebook..It’ll hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: supermarket
171

If you’re trying to stay outta trouble, don’t talk to me.

Submitted by: baylorswimgal
15

Facebook annoys me. The statuses. The pictures. Everyone’s trying to get so many likes..and I’m starting to hate myself too. Why do I have to have people like my stuff or me to feel they like me.. Like, am I the only one?

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison
3

So I tried this interesting new recipe; beer can chicken. You actually cook the whole chicken with a can of beer inside. The recipe only calls for one beer. I bought a six pack and drank the first five before beginning to prepare the meal. Strange but I must have missed the line in the recipe that said to “Open” the can before inserting into the chicken. When a can of beer is heated to 375 degrees, it reacts by “Self opening” what a mess to clean up.

Submitted by: Don Keen
173

Smile for me … Go ahead … Keep on smiling … Hmmm hmm you’re not too far from the stupidity line !!!!

Submitted by: Kittyboul
22

I said to my husband, “I don’t hear many men boo- hoo’ing about gaining weight” & he said, “We just go buy bigger pants.”

Submitted by: Claudia
363

Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl
17

If I had 10 ice- cubes and 11 bananas, how many waffles could get stuck on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: Jonny Appleseed
100

I am really easy to get on with, once you learn to worship me…

Submitted by: samina r
92

I’m quitting facebook to face my books…

Submitted by: byabang amar
98

People who respond to their own FB status…frankly annoy me.

Submitted by: EB
11

Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.

Submitted by: Jennifer
5

Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.

Submitted by: natti
13

I only added you to fill up your news feed, in that way I may get a “Like” from you.

Submitted by: Monjihar
65

Not to worry, I have been subdued and carted off for observation!

Submitted by: jerseygirl

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