Facebook Status Quotes - Page 7

116

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose
146

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa
7

There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.

Submitted by: Jayadeep.V. Nair
7

Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.

Submitted by: natti
22

I’m using my credits to access Facebook…if you hate my status then you can unfriend me…from now on mind yo business! Hate me or like me I’m still gonna login.

Submitted by: Raphael
13

I am currently restructuring my multinational Facebook friends list. I have decided to be within a manageable level of friends for control purposes. I am stream- lining my own time online so I can do other things with more meaning. This means, I will only retain responsive, active friends. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. So until I get round to unfriending you “You know who you are”, either from self delete or from myself having to use the the bye bye button on you, this is only so my time is my own again.
P.S. If you are reading this then hello Facebook friend.

Submitted by: john
30

Yeah I got nothing at this point. Updates to follow.

Submitted by: Matt
90

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC
8

Wouldn’t be much better if Facebook had “please reply to your inbox messages, or your Facebook account will be terminated”.

Submitted by: Arnold1968
54

I am currently restructuring my multi national facebook Companies. I have decided to be within a manageable level of organization for control purposes. I am stream- lining manpower. Meaning, I will only retain responsive, active members. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. Until then, resign or be fired.

Submitted by: Abiya Ganpalo
46

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

56

I log out from FB. Reason: I am bored.
After 5 min I signed in. Reason: I am bored.

76

I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.

Submitted by: bobby
439

Don’t do drugs…give them to me.

Submitted by: a$h
18

Facebook annoys me. The statuses. The pictures. Everyone’s trying to get so many likes..and I’m starting to hate myself too. Why do I have to have people like my stuff or me to feel they like me.. Like, am I the only one?

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison
9

I’ll change my gender to ‘female’ and my name to ‘Linda’. So when I post an update, people will rush to like them.

Submitted by: isuwa
10

Dear Facebook, you should have a “I disagree” button & a dislike button.

Submitted by: shaq p.
17

If I had 10 ice- cubes and 11 bananas, how many waffles could get stuck on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: Jonny Appleseed
11

Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.

Submitted by: Jennifer
173

Smile for me … Go ahead … Keep on smiling … Hmmm hmm you’re not too far from the stupidity line !!!!

Submitted by: Kittyboul
23

I said to my husband, “I don’t hear many men boo- hoo’ing about gaining weight” & he said, “We just go buy bigger pants.”

Submitted by: Claudia
363

Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl
100

I am really easy to get on with, once you learn to worship me…

Submitted by: samina r
92

I’m quitting facebook to face my books…

Submitted by: byabang amar
100

People who respond to their own FB status…frankly annoy me.

Submitted by: EB

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