Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
M. I. C. K. E. Y. U. R. O. L. D.
Over the hill. Never, just on top enjoying the view.
I can’t believe you’re 50. I mean, I can’t believe you’re only 50. I thought you were way older than that.
Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.
I’m not gonna make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are. Lol.
Celebrating your birthday is like being happy that you are closer to your grave.
I’m not saying you’re old, you have just lived a lot longer than I’ve seen anyone live! But you’re not old. I think.
You’re not old, you’re just. Old.
I’m not saying you’re old. Oh wait. You are!
Happy 13th birthday! Did I hear you saying insult? Please don’t be offended, but honestly, you look younger everyday.
The good, die young. The bad, are bad to the bone.
The young, are young at heart. And the old, is an old fashioned love song.
At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy birthday!!!
I’m sorry you have to scroll so far down on websites looking for your birth year!!!
At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
You’re how old? Just be glad your age is not calculated in “Dog years”. They would have put you down by now!
Like a lot of other men my age I have been thirty for ten years now, but I’ve decided today’s the day to move up to thirty one! Come back in ten years and I’ll be turning thirty two.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
The older you get the bolder you get.
Oohh!!!! Your birthday present, haha!!!! Cute story.
I was going to give you a birthday present but every time I touched the box, it would snarl at me.
I was going to give you a birthday present, but it wouldn’t stop ticking.
Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
You sure don’t look your age, you look way older! Happy birthday oldie!
You’re old as the woman you feel.
I don’t know your name, but your birthday cake was delicious.
You are not over the hill. You are on top of it and the view is magnificent.
“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”
Every year someone asks me “What are you doing for your birthday?” and every year I say “Celebrating, idiot!”
Happy 29th Birthday! (again)
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
As you slide down the bannister of life… May the splinters never point the wrong way.
Celebrating another birthday means another year closer to seeing God’s face.
It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
Now I’m not saying the professor is old, but if you consider his age – he’s likely to die soon.
Too young to die, too old to rock n roll.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
I always remember your birth date but should start forgetting your age since you’ve past the calendar days yet you still look like a teenage brat…
I know it’s your birthday but I have no idea how old you are.