Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of …………. Lord-only-knows
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
“Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Philosopher, Albert Einstein says,
“Did the chicken cross the road, or did the road move underneath the chicken?”
LOL!
There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.
You think your special JUST because its your birthday today….
no way you’re special every day!!!
Lolz! xD
Take a look at this quote!
“How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? happy birthday!”
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go-unless you enjoy them.
“Do you know what they call people of your age? Old!!!”
I didn’t forget your birthday, i just forgot today’s date!
I was planning to put a gorgeous, awesome present in your cake…
…But I didn’t want any frosting on my hair!
If you had a birthday for every girl who stopped and stared……you my friend would be in nursery.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
I cant believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
I can’t remember being born..but my mother assures me that i was.
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar…….. Yung No Mo
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
Guess What??
You’re an old bag.
Without birthdays we wouldn’t know how much makeup to put on in the morning.