Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”
Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo
I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
Act your age not your shoe size.
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.
At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.