Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Submitted by: Bella

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

Submitted by: nuttha

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

Submitted by: Giselle

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

Submitted by: dana

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

Submitted by: rayne kent

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!

Submitted by: Jaw-Din

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!

Submitted by: Silly-Me!

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Submitted by: XxRobertxX

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

Submitted by: Allison

Act your age not your shoe size.

Submitted by: Babee 'x
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I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

Submitted by: jenne petell

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

Submitted by: Melissa

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Submitted by: jossyboy

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.

Submitted by: Angela

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

Submitted by: Anthony

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Submitted by: Claire

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Submitted by: someone

Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: marcel

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

Submitted by: Brian Jones

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