Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

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Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Submitted by: Bella

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget about the past, you can’t change...

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Submitted by: nuttha

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Growing old is mandatory but growing up...

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Submitted by: Giselle

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

Submitted by: dana

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: I didn’t forget your birthday, I just...

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Submitted by: rayne kent

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: How do you expect me to remember...

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Submitted by: Silly-Me!

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You think you are special JUST because...

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Submitted by: Jaw-Din

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22...

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Submitted by: Allison

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Submitted by: XxRobertxX

I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

Submitted by: jenne petell

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

Submitted by: Melissa

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Submitted by: jossyboy

Act your age not your shoe size.

Submitted by: Babee 'x

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

Submitted by: Anthony

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Old enough to know better…Young enough to...

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Submitted by: Angela

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Submitted by: someone

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Submitted by: Roger

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

Submitted by: Brian Jones

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: It is scientifically proven that people who...

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So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Submitted by: Claire

Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.

Submitted by: b :)

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

Submitted by: Bruce K

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.

Submitted by: An Alien

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget the past, you can’t change. Forget...

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Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: marcel

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