Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”
Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo
I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
Act your age not your shoe size.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.