Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Two elderly men are sitting on a...

Submitted by: Bella
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Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget about the past, you can’t change...

Submitted by: nuttha
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Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Growing old is mandatory but growing up...

Submitted by: Giselle
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You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22...

Submitted by: Allison
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Act your age not your shoe size.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Act your age not your shoe size.

Submitted by: Babee 'x
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That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: That awkward moment when people are singing...

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Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Old enough to know better…Young enough to...

Submitted by: Angela
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So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: So far, this is the oldest I’ve...

Submitted by: Claire
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Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Every once in a while, special people...

Submitted by: marcel
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It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: It is scientifically proven that people who...

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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Some people try to turn back their...

Submitted by: Roger
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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Birthdays are good for your health. Studies...

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Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget the past, you can’t change. Forget...

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Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Just remember, once you’re over the hill...

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You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You know you are getting old when...

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