Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

66

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Submitted by: Bella
89

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget about the past, you can’t change...

Embed Code
Submitted by: nuttha
46

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Submitted by: XxRobertxX
118

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

Submitted by: dana
150

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Growing old is mandatory but growing up...

Embed Code
Submitted by: Giselle
100

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: I didn’t forget your birthday, I just...

Embed Code
Submitted by: rayne kent
77

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22...

Embed Code
Submitted by: Allison
19

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

Submitted by: Bruce K
40

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Submitted by: jossyboy
22

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Submitted by: Roger
4

That awkward moment when it’s your birthday and everyone is singing “Happy birthday to you” and you just stand there clueless of what to say.

Submitted by: Anika
3

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~ E. Joseph Cossman

39

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

Submitted by: Anthony
8

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

28

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Submitted by: someone
10

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

174

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You think you are special JUST because...

Embed Code
Submitted by: Jaw-Din
10

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
Oscar Wilde

11

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Allen

17

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget the past, you can’t change. Forget...

Embed Code
31

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

Submitted by: Brian Jones
11

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn

10

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake

10

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

40

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Old enough to know better…Young enough to...

Embed Code
Submitted by: Angela

Copyright © 2006-2015 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!