Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”
Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo
I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
When you are over the hill you pick up speed!
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.