Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
The older you get the bolder you get.
Oohh!!!! Your birthday present, haha!!!! Cute story.
I was going to give you a birthday present but every time I touched the box, it would snarl at me.
I was going to give you a birthday present, but it wouldn’t stop ticking.
Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
You sure don’t look your age, you look way older! Happy birthday oldie!
I don’t know your name, but your birthday cake was delicious.
You are not over the hill. You are on top of it and the view is magnificent.
“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”
Every year someone asks me “What are you doing for your birthday?” and every year I say “Celebrating, idiot!”
Happy 29th Birthday! (again)
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
As you slide down the bannister of life… May the splinters never point the wrong way.
Celebrating another birthday means another year closer to seeing God’s face.
It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
Now I’m not saying the professor is old, but if you consider his age – he’s likely to die soon.
Too young to die, too old to rock n roll.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
I know it’s your birthday but I have no idea how old you are.
People say that the good die young, but if that is true how evil are you if you get older and older!
Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.
Birthday – It is a day when you will be happy for wasting one more year.
Birthdays: Keep doing them every year and one day you’ll wake very old.
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Mwah!