Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
You’re how old? Just be glad your age is not calculated in “Dog years”. They would have put you down by now!
Like a lot of other men my age I have been thirty for ten years now, but I’ve decided today’s the day to move up to thirty one! Come back in ten years and I’ll be turning thirty two.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
The older you get the bolder you get.
Oohh!!!! Your birthday present, haha!!!! Cute story.
I was going to give you a birthday present but every time I touched the box, it would snarl at me.
I was going to give you a birthday present, but it wouldn’t stop ticking.
Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
You sure don’t look your age, you look way older! Happy birthday oldie!
I don’t know your name, but your birthday cake was delicious.
You are not over the hill. You are on top of it and the view is magnificent.
“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”
Every year someone asks me “What are you doing for your birthday?” and every year I say “Celebrating, idiot!”
Happy 29th Birthday! (again)
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
As you slide down the bannister of life… May the splinters never point the wrong way.
Celebrating another birthday means another year closer to seeing God’s face.
Every year on your birthday, be nice to your kids. The older you get the closer it comes for them to choose a nursing home.
Birthdays – Too young to forget them and too old to care.
It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
Now I’m not saying the professor is old, but if you consider his age – he’s likely to die soon.
Too young to die, too old to rock n roll.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
I know it’s your birthday but I have no idea how old you are.