Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
– Mark Twain
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
– Pope John XXIII
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
– Gloria Pitzer
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
– Phyllis Diller
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
– Bob Hope
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
Act your age not your shoe size.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
– Robert Southey
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler
You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.
Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke
The best way of staying young is lying about your age.