Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
– Robert Frost
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
– James Thurber
Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
– Robert Frost
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
– Mark Twain
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
– Bob Hope
Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
– Phyllis Diller