Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
- Eubie Blake
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen
Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
- James Thurber
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
- Jennifer Yane
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
- R. C. Ferguson
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- Pope John XXIII
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
- Gloria Pitzer
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- Bob Hope
Act your age not your shoe size.
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.