Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Robert Frost
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
- Jennifer Yane
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
- R. C. Ferguson
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
- Gloria Pitzer
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
- Bette Midler
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- Pope John XXIII
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash