Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
- Eubie Blake
Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
- James Thurber
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
- Jennifer Yane
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
- R. C. Ferguson
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- Pope John XXIII
Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
- Gloria Pitzer
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
Act your age not your shoe size.