Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
- John Glenn
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”
Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
- James Thurber
I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
- Jennifer Yane
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
- R. C. Ferguson
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
- Bette Midler
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- Pope John XXIII
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
- Gloria Pitzer
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
Act your age not your shoe size.
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey