Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Submitted by: stranger

Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.

Submitted by: Awesomeee!!

I’m just here for the cake.

Submitted by: *nacho comment*

You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.

Submitted by: melissa

It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!

Submitted by: James

The best way of staying young is lying about your age.

Submitted by: 2she

Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese.

Submitted by: Hanz

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go- unless you enjoy them.

Submitted by: Thomas B.

A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!

Submitted by: Bymyfriend Harvey

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

They say love is all you need…
So I forgot to buy a birthday present.
Happy Birthday!

Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Susan

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