Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!

Submitted by: Bymyfriend Harvey

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

They say love is all you need…
So I forgot to buy a birthday present.
Happy Birthday!

Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Susan

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Dasha

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

Hey I’m not saying you’re old… I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Allen

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

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A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Submitted by: Girlzilla

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
Oscar Wilde

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane

Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday, have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!

Submitted by: tiamaria

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn

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