Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Allen

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!

Happy Birthday, have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!

Submitted by: tiamaria

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Submitted by: Girlzilla

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn

Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.


You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!.

Submitted by: (:recyclinator:)

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
– Gloria Pitzer

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
– Maurice Chevalier

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
– James Thurber

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
– Pope John XXIII


Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Kids wish to be older, adults wish to be younger.

Submitted by: EmEm

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Robert Orben

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash

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