Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

I’m just here for the cake.

Submitted by: *nacho comment*

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Submitted by: stranger

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

Submitted by: Bruce K

It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!

Submitted by: James

You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.

Submitted by: melissa

The best way of staying young is lying about your age.

Submitted by: 2she

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.


Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese.

Submitted by: Hanz

Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go- unless you enjoy them.

Submitted by: Thomas B.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!

Submitted by: Bymyfriend Harvey

Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Susan

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Dasha

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