Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 3
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
- Bette Midler
Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.
At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy birthday!!!
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
- Billie Burke
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
- Joan Rivers
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
The best way of staying young is lying about your age.
You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.
Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
I’m just here for the cake.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
- Mark Twain
My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!
Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.