Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!.

Submitted by: (:recyclinator:)

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
– Gloria Pitzer

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
– Maurice Chevalier

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller


Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
– James Thurber

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
– Pope John XXIII

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Kids wish to be older, adults wish to be younger.

Submitted by: EmEm

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Robert Orben

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Mark Twain

One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
– Euripedes

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
– Robert Southey

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