Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke

Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

Submitted by: Lila

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman

What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.

Submitted by: David

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler


When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
– Father Larry Lorenzoni

Every year on your birthday, be nice to your kids. The older you get the closer it comes for them to choose a nursing home.

Submitted by: Ela

Like a lot of other men my age I have been thirty for ten years now, but I’ve decided today’s the day to move up to thirty one! Come back in ten years and I’ll be turning thirty two.

Submitted by: isabella owens

It’s better to be over the hill than to buried under it.

Submitted by: autumn streath

Birthdays – Too young to forget them and too old to care.

Submitted by: Louise

You’re how old? Just be glad your age is not calculated in “Dog years”. They would have put you down by now!

Submitted by: vsmartt

Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.

Submitted by: Billy Lomas

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