Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings - Page 6
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
– Samuel Johnson
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash
My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler
One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
– Mark Twain
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
– Maurice Chevalier
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
– Father Larry Lorenzoni
Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
– Oscar Wilde
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
– Phyllis Diller
Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
– Mark Twain
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
– Robert Orben
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.