Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Mark Twain

One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
– Euripedes

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
– Robert Southey

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman

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Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

Submitted by: Lila

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.

Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

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What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.

Submitted by: David

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

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