Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake

Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
– Euripedes


About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
– Gloria Pitzer

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Robert Orben

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
– James Thurber


Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

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