Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Eubie Blake
Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
– Robert Frost
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
– Gloria Pitzer
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
– Phyllis Diller
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
– Robert Orben
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
– James Thurber
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
– Mary Schmich
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
– Erma Bombeck