Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

1

Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz
1

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson
2

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson
9

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods

2

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman
10

Get
Out
Leave
Family

Submitted by: Mike
10

That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.

Submitted by: Simon28
9

That ball came off the club face like a cotton ball.

Submitted by: Simon28
5

I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd
4

I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd
5

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd
5

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN
5

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic
9

My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.

Submitted by: corn rows
4

Golf has produced a lot of millionaires…most of them are former billionaires.

Submitted by: 19th hole
23

It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.

Submitted by: RobertM
9

Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.

Submitted by: RobertM
16

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM
8

If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.

Submitted by: RobertM
20

Golf, a sport for the poor admired by the rich.

Submitted by: clive Ntuli
27

He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

Submitted by: Bobby
21

His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.

Submitted by: homer
16

I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.

Submitted by: David
80

A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.

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Submitted by: Lakiyah King
18

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair

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